So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
