I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
and you said cock pushups were impossible
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
