just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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