i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
