Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
