hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
