Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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