No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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