It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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