Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
