I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
