i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Found your dick twin last night
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
