My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
