My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
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my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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