I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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