Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
