Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
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