i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
