sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
