thus making me awesome and them whores
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Randomize