Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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