can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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