We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
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There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
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do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
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