you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
