please come you make the beer taste better
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
