It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
