I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
