I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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