I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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