and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
