Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
