You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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