perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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