her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
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