i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Randomize
