I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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