no, he came in my armpit
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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