I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
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so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
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I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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