SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Randomize
