Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
