This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
