Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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