I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
