Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
