I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
