Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
