He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Randomize
