Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
