dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
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