when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
