Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
