and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
he thought i was a dude.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
