yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
