The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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