i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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