I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
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