i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
My pussy is not your playground.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
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