Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
