trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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