Whatcha textin bout Willis?
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
