The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize