This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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