GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
thus making me awesome and them whores
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
